Going to the gyno: scary, but worth it

Being anxious before your first--or fifth, or really any--gynecology appointment is totally normal. So normal, in fact, that Hello Giggles blogger Danielle Sepulveres live tweeted her most recent visit to her OBGYN to try and clear up some misconceptions and diminish fears about the gynecologist.

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Being prepared is imperative to having a good appointment. Know what to talk about, what to ask. Understanding that the gynecologist is there to help, and understanding that they care for a lot of patients, can open the gateway to figuring out exactly what to ask.

Undoubtedly, the doctor will ask, "Do you have any questions?" The following are some tips to help you have a flawless, painless appointment.

Make a list.
A day or two before going to your appointment, take a few moments to sit down in front of a notepad or that useful note-taking app on your smartphone and reflect on your history. When did you begin menstruating? How heavy is your flow and how long does it last? Do you have a lot of pain with your period?

Be honest. 
The gynecologist is there to help, not judge or laugh at you. If you are sexually active, tell them. If you are afraid you might have an STI, tell them. If you're nervous, tell them. Not only will your doctor reassure you, but they can offer testing and tips on


It can be hard letting someone you barely know take a look at that super hidden place you've probably been told to hide away forever.

If you have questions about going to the gyno, tweet me @whosthatkate or message me via my Facebook page.

What guys and girls think about during sex

With well over 2 million followers on social media, Youtube star Jenna Marbles knows how to make an entertaining video. The star covers topics from everyday occurrences in her life, to fan suggestions like How Girls Take A Shower  and Nice Guys Do Not Finish Last.

In a sort of two-part series based on a bombardment of the same suggestion from her followers on social media sites, Jenna Marbles parodied what girls and guys think about during sex. Her videos are featured below: (WARNING: NSFW)

What Girls Think About During Sex:

What Guys Think About During Sex: 

In a brazen, inappropriate, played out way, the youtuber makes some interesting assumptions. Albeit exaggerated, the videos have some truth embedded in them. 

Women's Health, Marie Claire, Metro and Thought Catalog all ran articles covering what goes on in the male and female brain during sex. Oddly enough, or maybe not oddly at all, women and men really do vary in what thoughts run through their brains. 

The top things men think about, when the above articles were compared, are trying not to orgasm too quickly and whether their female counterpart is actually enjoying sex. Females tend to hope that their partner will not finish too quickly, and wonder why he is being silent, and whether that means he is not enjoying what they are doing. 

Although not every person is the same, and couples vary, the studies show some interesting trends. Both men and women worry that they are not doing enough to please their partner. While men and women are different, they have similar thoughts on pleasing their partner, and both sexes want to make sex as great as possible for the other person. 

Banning Body Image

When Instagram outlawed '#curvy,' women fought back. 

Credit: Gavyn Pickens, www.thecurvycutie.com

Attempting to bring down the numbers of nude pictures on Instagram, a popular app where users post photos, the social media site banned several tags, including '#curvy.' In a social time period where the ongoing battle for body positivity still rages, outlawing a word so may women use to promote self love.

Instagram is a place for women and men to post pictures of themselves, their friends, loved ones, and the much-loved foodie picture. For many, it is a place to post countless pictures of themselves with positive captions. These pictures often receive praise from their followers and strangers who just want them to know how nice they look. Instagram is a selfie haven for people to promote self-love and positive body image.

When Instagram decided to ban the word, women in particular decided to let the social media site know just how they felt about the ban.

After the backlash from users, Instagram made the smart decision to reinstate the hashtag. Now, Instagram users can promote all the positive body image they want.

Morrocan actress brutally beaten in Casablanca

Loubda Abidar, Facebook

Loubna Abidar played the role of a prostitute in Nabil Ayouch's new film "Much Loved." The french film recieved a mix of reviews, most of them grounded in controversy. Moroccan government officials took action and banned the film for it's use of sex and sexuality in the plot line.

Abidar, who received an award for her acting in the film, claims to have been attacked last Thursday, October 5 by a group of men with knives in Casablanca.

Abidar stated to Morroco World News that upon going to the police, she was told, "Finally, they beat you."

Abidar got away with her life, though she needed treatment for a slashed brow and bruises.

Although the pictures looked real enough, there were some inconstancies in Abidar's story. She was not able to provide detail of her assailants, she turned her phone off shortly after the attack so her producer could not reach her, and she made statements such as a plea with France for political asylum that she later retracted.

However, this incident opens the conversation about sex and sexuality as a stigma, in foreign countries, and in America.

Recently, singer and performer Jennifer Lopez performed in Rabat, the capital of Morocco. Broadcast on public television, the performance supposedly "disturbed public order and tarnished women's honor an respect," according to a report by the Independent.

Conservative Moroccan groups who opposed Lopez's performance are now attempting to sue the singer.

Thoughts on Being a Sex Columnist

Apparently, this is not the face of a sex columnist. 

Apparently, this is the face of a "demure quiet girl," of a "conservative lady."

Apparently, people who write about sex are loud, obnoxious, promiscuous and not ladies.

After class the other day, I stood in the hallway and talked to a friend of mine. Someone else walked up, caught on to the gist of our conversation, and with wide eyes proclaimed, "YOU write the sex column?"

The student, seeing the shock mirrored on my own face at their disbelief, quickly tried to amend their statement: "I mean, you just seem so quiet," they said.

More than one person have been shocked about the sex blog and column, and curious about research done to write about them; they expressed similar shock seen in the aforementioned comments.

What bothers me about people being shocked that I--a quiet, sweet, apparently naive and unassuming girl--write a sex column and run a blog is not that people are assuming things about me, but that people assume someone like me could never write a column about sex.

Sex and sexuality are parts of humanity. Sex itself is part of the human experience. For sex to be so stigmatized in this society--still!--that people think only certain personalities can extensively research the topic shocks me.

We clearly have a long way to go towards normalization and acceptance, and equality, when it comes to sex.

What's your fantasy?

Maybe your fantasy involves sexy stripper Matthew McConaughey
from 'Magic Mike.'
Photo Credit: Claudette Barius, USMagazine.

"I have this fantasy, right..."

No, readers, if you sent this in a question, or a question like it, I do not think that you are strange.

Sexual fantasies took the title for the most awkward topic that came up in my Human Sexuality course two semesters ago. At the utterance of "fantasy," the students looked at their desks, and the Professor Jamie Winters laughed. People fail to both realize and acknowledge that sexual fantasies are completely normal.

Web MD listed five sexual fantasies most often occurring in both men and women:

• "Feeling romantic emotions during a sexual relationship
• Fantasies in which atmosphere and location are important
• Ones involving a romantic location
• Receiving oral sex
• For men, having sex with two women"

While both men and women have sexual fantasies, they typically differ in content.

Dr. Laura Berman wrote about women's most reported sexual fantasies. Women were more likely to want to be dominated by a man, and more likely to have homosexual fantasies. Women more readily fantasize about BDSM activities, as well. For many women, the thought of being controlled, taken by surprised, or even spanked and handcuffed is a typical, rather than abnormal, fantasy.

As reported by Men's Fitness, most women answered similarly in a survey they gave about what they would want in their sexual relationship; what fantasies they would want to come true, in a sense. Women reported similar answers to those reported in Dr. Berman's surveys. On average, women want to be "held hostage," undressed, and they want it rough. Women typically fantasize about their male partners charging in and taking control.

No matter what the fantasy, you are not weird or abnormal. Not only are sexual fantasies normal, but they are healthy. 

'Pop-Up Porno' series explores the awkward, noisy and often embarrassing world of sex

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